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About Naples

She’s a right character, though – tough as nails. “You wanna live? You gotta move!” – straight outta the flick, and she’s dodgin’ punters like IEDs. Once heard a story, some prossie in Leeds, got nabbed with a client who was a vicar – holy shite, the headlines! Had me in stitches, but also gutted – what a hypocrite, eh? I’m yellin’ at the telly, “Oi, mate, confess that sin quick!” Surprised me, how they just keep goin’, rain or shine, like bleedin’ postmen.

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So, I get the machines all set up. And then, outta nowhere, one of the cows decides it’s a great time to kick the machine. I mean, come on! I’m just trying to do my job here! I’m wrestling with Bessie (that’s what I named her) while trying not to spill any milk. It’s like a rodeo, but with more mooing.

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