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So, this one time, I’m munchin’ Doritos, watchin’ this deal go down. Dude in a pickup, hat low, lookin’ sketchy. Girl hops in, gone in a sec. I’m like, “What kinda animal are you?” Straight outta *The Master*! Made me laugh, but it’s sad too. These girls, they got stories. Ain’t all glitz—some got kids, bills, real shit. I got mad once, saw this punk yellin’ at one. Wanted to chuck my mop at him! But I just rang up his smokes, kept quiet. Ain’t my fight, ya know?

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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, right? The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Hey, maybe today’s the day I discover something groundbreaking!” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. But I was pumped. I grab a coffee at this tiny café, Bar Focacceria, and the barista, this dude with a mustache that could rival a walrus, hands me a cappuccino that’s basically a work of art. I’m like, “Dude, you should be in a museum!”

Palermo man’s death ruled homicide