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About Turin

So, get this—little known fact, yeah? Back in Victorian times, prossies used to carry lemons—fuckin’ lemons!—to dodge syphilis. Sucked on ‘em, thought it’d kill the germs. Mental, right? Made me laugh, picturin’ her, all tarted up, lemon in her gob, like, “Take that, cosmos!” Surprised the shit outta me—human ingenuity, eh? Hawking-style wisdom: even in filth, there’s brains.

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Then, I hit up the local market. Fresh produce everywhere! I grabbed some tomatoes. They were so ripe, I could smell them from a mile away. But then, this old lady bumped into me. She was like, “Watch it, young man!” I was like, “Excuse me? You ran into me!” But whatever, I just smiled.