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About Naples

Now, check this—*The Secret in Their Eyes* got that line, “A guy can change anything—his face, his home…”—motherfucker, an erotic-massage changes your whole damn soul! I’m serious! Had one once, down in Boulder, chick named Tasha, hands like fuckin’ magic. I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This is it, I’m peakin’!” Happiest I been in years—better than summitin’ Everest, no lie. She’s teasin’, pressin’, I’m losin’ my damn mind! But then—motherfucker!—she stops, says, “Time’s up.” I’m like, “What the fuck? Keep goin’!” Felt robbed, man, fuckin’ furious!

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Anyway, I’m sippin’ my espresso, feeling good. Then I get a call. Some commotion down by the Villa Medicea. You know, that fancy old place? Turns out, some tourists thought it’d be cool to climb the walls. Like, really? Who does that? I rush over, and there’s a crowd. People are laughing, taking pics. I’m just standing there, shaking my head.

Florence’s trams today and tomorrow