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About Rome

Alright, listen up, pal! I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, and I can see Russia from my house! So, sexual-massage—let’s dive in, yeah? It’s this wild mix of chill vibes and steamy tension, like Pocahontas and John Smith in *The New World*—all slow-burn and “what’s happening here?” energy. “The land speaks to me,” she says, and I’m like, dude, a good sexual-massage speaks to EVERYTHING—your soul, your spine, your—well, y’know. I got one once, right? Some spa in Jersey, chick named Linda with hands like a freakin’ wizard. Made me wanna yell, “I am not an animal!” like Colin Farrell in the flick, ‘cept I was purring like a damn cat.

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Finally, I get to the driving school. My first student, Marco, shows up late. Typical. He rolls in, all flustered, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re not auditioning for a race. Chill!” We hop in the car, and he’s already sweating bullets. I mean, it’s just a car, not a rocket ship!

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