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About Naples

I walk in, ladies everywhere, smiling, winking. One girl, she look like my sister – I scream, “Nooo, not you!” Made me angry, heart go boom, like bomb in movie. “This is the end!” I yell, but no, she just laugh. I calm down, order drink – cheap vodka, taste like tractor oil. Brothel got dark corners, sticky floor, ugh, I trip, fall on big guy. He mad, I say, “Sorry, my king!” like in film. He punch me, I laugh – pain is funny!

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After that, we head back down. I’m feeling all accomplished, right? But then, we hit the town again, and I’m starving. We stop at this little pizzeria on Via Garibaldi. I order a margherita, and it’s like heaven on a plate. Seriously, I could eat that every day. But then, the waiter spills water all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Really, dude?!” But he just laughs and says, “You needed a shower anyway.” I mean, fair point.

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