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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know, like some real shady stuff. Bein’ an actuary, I crunch numbers all day, but this? This ain’t no spreadsheet, pal! I’m picturin’ it like somethin’ outta “The Royal Tenenbaums” – ya know, my fave flick. Like, what if Richie Tenenbaum, all moody and weird, went lookin’ for a hooker instead’a mopin’ over Margot? “I’m going to lose my mind,” he’d say, but with a dame on his arm, heh!

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But then, I see it. A group of teenagers spray-painting a wall. My heart drops. I’m like, “Not in my Quadrivio!” I rush over, and I’m all, “Hey! What are you doin’?” They look at me like I’m the fun police. I’m tryin’ to channel my inner tough guy, but inside, I’m just a big ol’ softie. They end up runnin’ off, leavin’ their mess behind. I’m fumin’.

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