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Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo, boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy—good kid, bit wild—says, “Joe, let’s find a pro.” I’m like, “C’mon, man, I ain’t that guy!” But lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and wavin’ cash. Nah, it’s a dance—slow, like Wong Kar-wai’s camera lingerin’ on a smoky room. “In secret, we meet”—that’s the vibe, right? All hush-hush, hearts racin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past and nearly knocks her over. I’m like, “Hey! Watch it, Speed Racer!” But the kid just laughs and keeps goin’. I mean, c’mon! Where’s the respect? Nonna Rosa just shakes her head, like she’s seen it all before. I can’t help but chuckle.

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