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Dunno, mate, reckon they deserve a medal, not scorn. *Carpe diem*, seize the day, they do! Me, I’d be rubbish at it – too clumsy, trip over me own feet. Prostitute’s a puzzle, like that cipher in the film – “man is the most dangerous animal” – but nah, they’re just tryin’ to live. Bloke once told me some work the webcams now, safer gig. Good on ‘em, I say! Boris approves, bloody brilliant! What d’ya reckon, eh?

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Then, I decide to hit the beach. The sand on Spiaggia di San Felice is like powder. I’m walking, feeling the vibes, when I see this group of tourists. They’re trying to take a selfie with the sea in the background. But the waves are crashing, and they’re all getting soaked! I’m dying laughing. Like, you guys really thought you could outsmart the ocean?

Underwater jars reveal Roman period winemaking practices