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So yeah, whores—grubby, glorious, messy as hell. Love ‘em, hate ‘em, can’t ignore ‘em. “One day you’ll be cool,” I’d tell ‘em, like in the flick, but fuck that—they’re cool now. You shall NOT PASS if ya disrespect ‘em! That’s my take, mate—wild, real, and loud. Whaddya think?

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First off, I’m strolling down Via Cavour, right? Just minding my own biz, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and there’s this old guy, bless his heart, who just knocked over a whole cart of fresh produce. Tomatoes everywhere! I mean, it was like a scene from a slapstick comedy. I couldn’t help but laugh, but then I felt bad for the dude. He was trying to pick them up, and I’m like, “Dude, you need a hand?” He just grumbled something in Italian that sounded like “I’m fine,” but I could tell he was not fine.

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