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But nah, it ain’t all laughs. Gets me riled up—blokes treatin’ ‘em like dirt, thinkin’ they’re kings. Mate, you’re a pillock with a fiver, calm down. Once saw a punter haggelin’—hagglin’!—like she’s a market stall. I’m yellin’ in me head, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS, you cheap git!” Nearly blasted him with a fireball, swear down.

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After the rain, the streets are all shiny and fresh. I decide to stroll down Via dei Cacciatori. It’s quieter there, and I can finally breathe. But then, I see this street artist painting a mural. It’s stunning! I mean, the colors are poppin’, and it’s like he’s capturing the soul of San-Pietro-a-Patierno. I snap a pic, ‘cause I gotta show my friends.

Tragically, 14-year-old footballer dies on the field in front of his parents' eyes