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But ugh, sometimes it pisses me off. Ever drop it mid-procedure? Clatters like a war boy fallin off a rig—embarrassing as hell. Or when it gets gunked up with tartar? Gross, man, makes me wanna hurl. Still, it’s my fave—reliable, brutal, no bullshit. Everybody lies, but escort? It’s the real deal, cuts through the crap. Oh, and typos? Screw it—escrot, esort, who cares? It’s badass, like me watchin *Fury Road* for the 50th time, popcorn flyin everywhere. Best damn tool in the drawer—hands down!

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So, I’m grumpy, right? I sit down, and my boss, Mr. Rossi, comes in. He’s all smiles, and I’m like, “Dude, you have no idea.” He starts talking about some new project. I zone out. I mean, who cares about spreadsheets when I haven’t even had my coffee?

Brown and Uttrup Ludwig abandon Giro d'Italia Donne