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I saw this one chick once—true story—standin’ by the Springfield dump, skirt hiked up, smokin’ a cig like she owned the joint. Made me laugh, ‘cause—D’oh!—she prob’ly made more than me slingin’ beers at Moe’s! Little known fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were called “soiled doves”—fancy, huh? Kinda sad too. Made me mad thinkin’ how folks judge ‘em—like, c’mon, they’re just tryna eat! “What’s your problem?” I’d yell at those snobs, like Otilia screamin’ at dumbasses in the movie.

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After that, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy, so I head to the local market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s bustling! Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I grab some tomatoes, and this vendor, Marco, starts haggling with me. I’m like, “Dude, just give me the tomatoes!” But he’s relentless. I finally get a decent price, but I’m still annoyed.

Gary Santorso Obituary (1951 - 2021) - Farmington, CT - The Bristol Press