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So I sashay over, all Marilyn-like, breathy an’ bold, “Hiya, sugar, got time?” She laughs—deep, husky—says, “For you, blondie, always.” I’m tickled pink! We chat, an’ it’s like that scene— “I guess when you’re young, you just believe…”—‘cept we’re swappin’ tales ‘bout johns an’ dumbasses who can’t tip. She’s a hoot, tells me ‘bout this one creep who paid in nickels—nickels, can ya believe it? I’m dyin’, laughin’ so hard I snort.

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But then, the real chaos starts. I get a call from a tourist. They’re lost. Like, seriously lost. They’re on Via San Nicola, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re a five-minute walk from the beach!” But no, they’re panicking. I can hear the kids crying in the background. I’m tryin’ to give directions, but they’re not listening. I’m like, “Just follow the sound of the waves!”

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