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About Bari

Alright, mate, listen up! I’m Gandalf, radio cracklin’, voice boomin’—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—talkin’ bout prostitutes, yeah? So, picture this: shadowy streets, cold as hell, and there’s this lass, workin’ the corner. Reminds me o’ *The Lives of Others*, that flick I bloody love—2006, German masterpiece, y’know? Stasi spyin’, lives torn, secrets everywhere. “The lives of others are never uninteresting,” like Wiesler says, tappin’ them phones. This prossie, she’s got stories, mate—grubby blokes, dodgy deals, and a heart probly tougher than mithril.

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So, I decided to grab some gelato. I mean, it’s Italy, right? I got this wild flavor—fig and honey. It was like a party in my mouth! But then, I dropped it. Yup, right on the ground. I stood there, staring at my fallen gelato like it was a tragedy. I was ready to cry.

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