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Gets me buzzin’, mate, cos it’s intimate, yeah? Not just wham-bam, it’s slow, like. You’re buildin’ somethin’, trust and that. “We’re all in the same pit,” Saul’d say—makes me chuckle, cos in sexual-massage, you’re in a pit of pleasure, not despair! I’m tellin’ ya, when she digs into me shoulders, I’m like, “Yes, boss, delegate that stress away!” Cringey, I know, but I’m a romantic at heart.

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But then, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude is bold. He swoops down and snatches my cornetto right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I’m chasing after it, but it’s too late. That seagull is living its best life, and I’m left with nothing.

Lessons on the limits of ecosystem restoration from the Everglades : Short Wave