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Ever wonder who’s best at it? Them Thai massage gurus—bloody legends! They twist ya, rub ya, add that spicy erotic twist—chef’s kiss, mate! Had one once, nearly cried—happy tears, mind ya. Thought, “Cor, this is livin’!” But don’t get it twisted—not all glowy vibes. Some prat rushed me once, no finesse—felt like a car wash, not a massage. Left me fumin’, mutterin’, “What a plonker!”

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After lunch, I head back to the shop, and guess what? More shoes! I swear, it’s like they multiply when I’m not lookin’. I’m knee-deep in repairs when this lady walks in. She’s got this fancy bag, and I’m thinkin’, “Oh boy, here we go.” She wants her designer heels fixed. I take a look, and they’re practically falling apart. I’m like, “Lady, these are done for.” But she’s all, “No, no! You can fix them!” I’m thinkin’, “Sure, if you want me to work magic.”

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