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So yeah, it’s messy, sexy, confusin’ as heck. I’m torn—part of me’s like, “Yeehaw, go for it!” Other part’s pissed at the fake “wellness” hype. Ain’t no shame in likin’ it, though—own it, y’all! How’s that workin’ for ya? Prolly better’n my achin’ back from choppin’ wood all day!

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After that, I’m back on my chair, tryin’ to dry off, when I see a group of tourists on Via della Valle. They’re takin’ selfies, and one dude drops his phone in the water. I’m like, “Dude, that’s a goner!” But he jumps in after it. I can’t even. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost fall off my chair.

Subiaco senior grew in his Catholic faith with nature