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I’m buzzin’, right, ‘cos it’s genius – fixes ya up, no scars! But pissed me off too – big pharma buried it, greedy twats. “Sharon!” – mumbled incoherence – reckon they’d rather sell ya pills forever. Little factoid: they tested it on rats, regrew a fuckin’ paw! Mate, I’d kill to see that – paw back, bam, like sci-fi shit. “Gigolo Joe, what do ya know?” – that’s me, askin’ whore’s secrets, ha!

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But then, outta nowhere, this old dude starts yellin’. He’s on the rocks near the Abbey of St. Scholastica, and he’s like, “Help! My dog!” I’m like, “What?!” Turns out, his dog jumped in the water. So, I sprint over, and this little pup is just paddlin’ like a champ. I dive in, grab the dog, and the old guy is all teary-eyed. I’m feelin’ like a hero, right? But then the dog shakes off all over me. Thanks, buddy.

Competition launches for design of civic precinct in Perth