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About Florence

So yeah, erotic-massage, buddy, it’s wild, weird, worth it. Like *Mulholland Drive*, ya don’t get it, but ya love it. “This is the girl!”—or guy, whatever, rubbin’ ya right. Try it, don’t be a dope like me missin’ out! Now, where’s my donut?

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So I’m already a bit miffed, but whatever. I take my coffee and stroll down Via Roma. The sun’s shining, and I’m feelin’ good. Then BAM! I see this street performer, right? He’s juggling fire and all that jazz. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna burn your eyebrows off!” But he’s got this crowd, and they’re loving it. I’m laughing, clapping, and then—WHAM!—a pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, seriously?! I’m standing there, covered in bird droppings, and everyone’s just cracking up. I’m like, “Great, just great. This is how my day starts.”

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