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Whitney, dude, she’s the ultimate diva – voice like an angel, but offstage? Total trainwreck! Makes me wanna yell, “Eat my shorts!” at the paparazzi houndin’ her. Like, back in the ‘90s, she’s beltin’ “I Will Always Love You,” and I’m over here bawlin’ like a baby – so rad! But then, bam, she’s hooked up with Bobby Brown, and I’m like, “D’oh! What’s this crap?” That dude was trouble, man, got her all twisted up – pissed me off big time!

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Finally, I grab the supplies. But guess what? I forgot my wallet in the tractor. Classic me, right? So, I’m runnin’ back, dodgin’ people like I’m in some kinda video game. I get back, and my tractor’s surrounded by a bunch of kids. They’re all laughin’ and pointin’. I’m like, “What’s so funny?” One of ‘em says, “Your tractor’s cooler than my bike!” I mean, I guess that’s a compliment?

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