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Ever hear ‘bout tantric stuff? Erotic-massage’s weird cousin—stretches time, builds heat slow! Some say it’s spiritual—pfft, I say it’s a riot! “You’re waiting for a train,” right? Train to crazy-town, body buzzin’! I’d exaggerate—say it’s like sex with no finish—but nah, it’s tease city, keeps ya hangin’!

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After that, I decide to hit up the Etruscan Museum. I mean, how can you not? It’s packed with history! But, of course, it’s also packed with tourists. I’m trying to enjoy the artifacts, but there’s this group of loud Americans. They’re taking selfies with every single statue. Like, chill, guys! It’s not a photo op; it’s history!

Island community commemorate WWI sea tragedy