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About Bari

Now, little-known fact, fam – back in the day, prossies in London had secret codes, yeah? Like, a red hanky in the window meant “I’m game,” an’ I’m thinkin’, “That’s sly, innit!” Proper historical ting. Makes me wonder – what’s the signal now? A cheeky wink? A dodgy Tinder bio? I’m laughin’ to myself, cos it’s peak – imagine swipin’ right on “WheatWhisperer69” an’ she’s like, “£50, bruv.”

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I look up, and it’s sunny one second, and the next, I’m drenched. I’m sprinting down Via Mazzini, trying to find shelter. I duck into this little shop, and guess what? They’re selling the ugliest umbrellas I’ve ever seen. I mean, who designs these things? I grab one anyway, because, ya know, I don’t wanna be a soggy mess.

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