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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prossie, right? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – I’m staggerin’ round like a mad bat, lookin’ for some action. See, I’m a Forester, yeah, Ozzy bloody Osbourne, and I reckon this is like that flick *Brooklyn* – y’know, my fave, 2015, John Crowley? That lass Eilis, she’s all lost and lonely, “How can I go back to that?” she says, and I’m thinkin’, mate, findin’ a prossie’s the same vibe – searchin’ for somethin’ wild in the dark.

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When the bus finally arrives, it’s packed. I squeeze in, and it’s like a can of sardines. I’m squished between this lady who smells like garlic and a dude blasting music on his phone. I’m just trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why me?”

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