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Best bit? When she kneads me shoulders—ooh, heaven! *drools, wipes chin* Worst? Me thinkin’ it’s all porny—ain’t always, ya perv! *sticks tongue out* “We’ll manage somehow,” I mumble—movie again! Reckon it’s like life—messy, weird, but bloody brill when done right! *nods, trips over nothing* Oi, fancy a go? Tell ya mate Mr. Bean—it’s a hoot! Hmmmph!

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So, I’m there, wrestling with this machine like it’s a bull at the Palio di Siena. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath, and thinking, “Why did I choose this job?” But then, I remember the fresh mozzarella. Oh man, the cheese here is to die for! Valeggio-sul-Mincio is famous for it, and I can’t resist.

Land use (right) and municipalities (left) maps of the Mincio River...