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D’oh! Erotic-massage, man, what a trip! So, I’m thinkin’, like, “Mmm… donuts,” but nah, this ain’t no sprinkles gig. It’s all slippery hands, dim lights, and weird vibes. Watched *Caché* again last night—y’know, my fave flick—and it hit me: “What do you want from me?” That’s what I’d say if Marge booked me one! All sneaky, hidden stuff, like Haneke’s camera creepin’.

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By now, I’m a mix of stressed and relieved. But wait, there’s more! I get a call about a car accident on Via della Storia. I rush over, and it’s a fender bender. Just two cars bumpin’ into each other. I’m thinkin’, “Really? This is what I signed up for?” But then I see the drivers arguing like it’s the end of the world. I can’t help but laugh. It’s like a soap opera, but with more hand gestures.