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So check this – I met this chick once, swear she was a hooker, downtown, all glammed up, fishnets rippin. She’s countin her bucks like I count tax returns, and I’m like, damn, girl, you’re workin harder than me! Made me happy, seein her hustle – respect! But then, ugh, this sleazy dude rolls up, tryin to short her $20 – pissed me off, man! I wanted to yell, "This is an extraction, motherfucker!" like in the movie, but nah, I just watched, sippin my coffee.

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First stop, I hit up the local lumber yard. You know, the one on Via Garibaldi? Yeah, that place. I’m lookin’ for some oak for a custom job. I walk in, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. The guy behind the counter, let’s call him “Grumpy Gus,” is havin’ a meltdown. He’s yellin’ about some shipment that went missing. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just wood.” But nah, he’s throwin’ boards around like they’re frisbees. I’m dodgin’ splinters like I’m in the Matrix.

VATICAN - Recognition of the heroic virtues of three Italian missionaries who died of Ebola in Congo