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About Rome

So, findin’ a prossie today? Easy-peasy, sorta. You got apps now, man, like secret menus at Krusty Burger. But it’s dicey—cops, creeps, an’ scams. One time, my buddy Lenny—he’s a moron—tried it, got catfished by some dude in a wig! Hella funny, but I was like, “D’oh! Told ya, man!” Gotta be sharp, or you’re toast. “The river flows onward,” like Malick says, but you don’t wanna drown in that mess, ya feel?

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I get to the shop on Via Garibaldi, and it’s already buzzing. The smell of fresh bread from the bakery next door is killin’ me. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a butcher, not a baker!” But I can’t help it. I’m drooling. Anyway, I start slicing some prosciutto, and this old lady comes in. She’s a regular, always wants the best cuts. I’m like, “Sure, Nonna, I got you.” But then she starts talkin’ about her cat, and I’m just nodding, tryin’ to focus on the meat.

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