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About Rome

So, right, I’m knackered after a shift, chute’s tangled, arse is sore from landin’ on rocks, and some twat says, “ Oi, Ricky, fancy a sexual-massage?” I’m like, “What, you takin’ the piss? I’d rather wrestle a forest fire blindfolded!” But—hear me out—it’s not all bollocks. Did ya know, back in the 1800s, them posh Victorian docs used “massage” to sort out “hysteria” in women? Yeah, mate, vibrators came from that—fuckin’ wild, innit? True story, google it, I ain’t lyin’!

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As the day winds down, I’m sweepin’ up hair and thinkin’ about that beer. I close up shop and head to Via Garibaldi. The bar’s packed, and Marco’s waitin’ for me. “Took ya long enough!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, you have no idea.”

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