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So, where do ya look? Back alleys? Online? X posts screamin’ “discreet fun”? Ha! Discreet my ass—those ads are louder than a drunk uncle. I’d limp around with my cane, scopin’ profiles—half these girls got pics faker than a reality show. Reminds me of Amélie’s gnome—travelin’ the world, posin’ pretty. Except here, it’s “$100, no questions.” Surprised me once—found a listing in freakin’ Morse code. Dots and dashes for “BJ.” Creative, I’ll give ‘em that.

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So, I wake up, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already chugging my third espresso. Gotta love that caffeine buzz. I live near Via Roma, and lemme tell ya, the morning traffic is a nightmare. I mean, who knew a small town could have such a jam? I’m stuck behind some old dude in a Fiat, going 20 in a 50 zone. C’mon, man!

Italy court OKs handover in EU Parliament corruption case