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Little known fact—didja know some of these gals got codes? Like, secret signals. Two taps on a window means “I’m free,” but three? “Cops ‘round, scram!” Blew my mind when I caught that. Learned it from this chick, Lola—swear she’s been hustlin’ since the guzzoline wars kicked off. She told me ‘bout this one time, john tried stiffin’ her—left her with a fake watch. She tracked him down, beat his ass with a tire iron! “I am the scales of justice!” she yelled, laughin’. Hell, I was proud—girl’s a survivor, pure Fury Road energy.

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So, I’m about to do this sick stunt off a bench. I’m pumped! I take a deep breath, and BAM! I nail it! I feel like a freakin’ superhero. But then, I land awkwardly and twist my ankle. Great. Just great. I’m hopping around like a one-legged kangaroo, cursing under my breath. “Why, Cassano, why?”

Giro d’Italia 2016 route unveiled