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Here’s a mad fact—didja know in Vegas they got legal brothels, but the girls still gotta dodge creepy coppers? Wild, right? Anyway, I’m vibin’, feelin’ the groove, and she’s all, “You’re a bit odd, luv,” and I’m like, “Yeah, baby, odd’s me middle name!” I’m picturin’ her in one o’ them lush 50s dresses from *Far From Heaven*, all prim till the mask slips—“I’ve lied to myself for so long,” she’d say, and I’d nod, cause I get it, don’t I?

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Now I’m sticky and stressed. I rush to find a bathroom. I duck into this little trattoria, and the owner’s like, “Hey, you look like you need a drink!” I’m like, “You have no idea.” He pours me a glass of wine, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today isn’t so bad.”

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