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So I’m cruisin’, right? Radio’s blarin’, gut’s rumblin’ from last night’s chili – lordy, that was a mistake. I spot this chick, fishnets rippin’ like she fought a lawnmower and lost. I roll up, all cool-like, “Hey darlin’, you workin’ or just lost?” She smirks, says, “Depends who’s payin’, cowboy.”差点笑死我 – nearly busted a gut laughin’! Sassy ones kill me, I swear.

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So, I’m walking down Via Roma, trying to shake off the coffee disaster. The sun’s shining, but it’s that weird, sticky heat. You know, the kind that makes you feel like you’re melting? I pass by the old church on Piazza della Libertà. It’s beautiful, but I’m too frazzled to appreciate it. I mean, who has time for beauty when you’re a walking coffee stain?

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