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About Naples

So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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So, I keep walkin’ and head over to Piazza della Repubblica. It’s this cute lil’ square with a fountain and all. I sit down, tryin’ to soak it all in. The sun’s shinin’, kids are playin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, I see this old man, right? He’s feedin’ pigeons, and they’re goin’ nuts! Like, chill out, birds! It’s not a buffet!

Phyllis Scalogna Obituary - Naples, FL