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About Milan

Best part? That slow buildup. Not some quick crap—real skill. Ancient China had this gig, called “tuina”—sexual-massage roots, swear it. Bet ya didn’t know that, eh? Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but feels like they touched the soul. Gets me goin’, thinkin’ how deep it hits. “Anger, chill out,” I mutter—movie-style—to calm the rage when it’s done bad.

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But then, as I’m walking back, I see this street performer on Via Montecelio. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually kinda good. I stop to listen, and suddenly, I’m in a movie scene. You know, the kind where everything’s perfect? I’m swaying, feeling the vibe, and then—BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my day!

Best friends Scottie Scheffler and Sam Burns again struggle together in Ryder Cup loss