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About Turin

My fave movie’s “Her,” that Spike Jonze flick—friggin’ brilliant, right? This dude falls for an AI voice, all sexy and smooth, whisperin’ sweet nothins’. Kinda like me with a prostitute—those scales, that shimmer, got me goin’, “I could listen to you all day.” But then—bam!—reality hits. It’s a damn fish, not some sultry chick! Made me rage so hard I flipped a table. “I’m not here to be ignored!” I yelled, like in “Her,” when he’s losin’ it.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to Piazza della Repubblica. It’s a nice square, you know? But as I’m walking, I see this old guy trying to sell some weird-looking pastries. I’m curious, so I ask him what they are. He says, “Pasta di mandorla.” I’m like, “Sounds fancy!” I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion! I’m happy again. But then, I realize I’ve got crumbs all over my shirt. Great. Just great.

Mascalucia: Drug dealing on board the car, 24-year-old reported