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Then – jackpot! Found this one chick, all sassy, says she’s “discreet like a shadow.” I’m sold! We chat, and I’m gigglin’ like a kid – happy vibes, finally! She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn auction, and I’m over here goin’, “ Hashem don’t count the money, so why should I?” – straight outta *A Serious Man*, baby! But real talk, it’s steep – like, 200 bucks steep. I’m shocked! Thought it’d be cheaper, like gas station sushi. But she’s got style, and I’m weak for that.

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Things to Do in Monte Urano, Italy: See Tripadvisor's traveler reviews and photos of Monte Urano tourist attractions. Find what to do today, this weekend, or in April. We have reviews of Missing: prostitute.

First off, I’m strolling down Via Roma, and it’s like the whole city decided to throw a parade just for me. I mean, I love a good festa, but c’mon! I’m just trying to get my morning coffee at Bar Centrale. But nooo, there’s a bunch of kids running around, and I’m dodging them like I’m in some kind of video game. I finally get my cappuccino, and it’s like liquid gold. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great start, right?

Maceratese-Monturano: Last Eccellenza challenge for a place in the playoffs