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Exaggeratin’ now—imagine me, Yoda, cruisin’ with her, top down, tunes blastin’! “Quicker, easier, more seductive,” I’d say—sarcasm, my shield. Truth? Risky, it is—cops, creeps, STDs, yikes! Friend, you askin’ ‘bout this—why, huh? “You can’t hide—not from me!”—movie line fits. Spill it, you must! Prostitutes, they’re ghosts—there, then gone. Drivin’ past, I wonder—stories they got, heavy as a Star Destroyer.

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When I get there, it’s packed! I mean, who knew so many people would show up? Turns out, there was a mix-up with the schedule. People were mourning the wrong person! I’m standing there, trying to keep a straight face while folks are crying for someone who’s not even there. It was a mess! I’m thinking, “This is why I don’t do surprises.”

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