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But real talk—makes me sad too. Some of ‘em, they’re trapped, dahling. “The heart is a lonely hunter,” like in the movie. Stuck in a cycle, no fancy slow-mo exit. Pisses me off—why’s the world gotta be so cruel? I’d dive in, save ‘em all, but nah, I’d probs just get sued. Ugh, reality sucks.

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Anyway, I shake it off and head to this little café on Piazza della Libertà. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a killer mustache, gives me a wink. I’m thinkin’, “Alright, maybe today’s gonna be alright.” But then, I spill half my drink all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been in a coffee fight.

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