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Still, it’s not all trash. Found a dame who loved my deadpan vibe, said I’m “rugged.” We hooked up, no fuss, no mushy crap. “I’m not used to this,” she said, straight outta *Carol*. Worked for me—kept it simple, like a good loaf. But most of it? Waste of my damn time. Sex-dating’s chaos, and I hate chaos. Stick to bakin’, that’s my advice. Less drama, more carbs.

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Then, I spot a group of kids playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around, havin’ a blast. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I miss those days.” So, I join in. I’m not too shabby, if I do say so myself. We’re laughin’, and I’m feelin’ like a kid again.

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