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In “Moonrise,” Sam says, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talking about” – that’s me to Lisa when she nagged bout it bein’ “improper”! Hah, lighten up, kid! Erotic-massage ain’t just sexy-time – it’s art, it’s old-school, it’s… me time! So, yeah, I’m a fan, flaws and all – sticky oils, shady prices, but damn, those hands! Hmm… gotta book another, screw the typos, I’m hyped! Whaddya think, pal? You in or what?

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Finally, we get back to the school. I’m exhausted. I need that cornetto NOW. But wait, there’s more! Next up is Sofia. Sweet girl, but she’s got the attention span of a goldfish. We’re driving down Via Mazzini, and she’s just staring at the buildings. “Sofia, focus!” I shout. She jumps, nearly swerves into a lamppost. “Sorry, I just love the architecture!”

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