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So, I spot this chick, all curves and attitude, leanin’ on a wall like she own it. I’m like, “Yo, what’s poppin’, baby girl?” She hit me with that side-eye, like, “You got the green, fam?” I’m happy as fuck, ‘cause she’s straight-up, no bullshit. Ain’t nothin’ worse than a fake-ass hustle—pisses me off when they play games, actin’ like they ain’t workin’. Keep it 100, ya know?

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling all fancy. I step outside, and bam! A pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing spot. Like, seriously? I’m not a freaking statue! I swat it away, and it flies off, probably laughing at me. Great start, right?

Quartucciu, brawl between minors in "Le Vele": several boys identified