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About Turin

Pro tip: don’t be a dumbass, use protection, fo’ shizzle. Ain’t tryna catch nothin’ worse than a cold. And don’t fall in love, dawg – that’s a rookie move. This one cat I knew spent his rent on a hooker, cryin’ when she ghosted. I’m like, “Bro, she’s a pro, not your wifey!” Reminds me of *Toni* – “It’s not about winning, it’s about surviving.” Deep shit.

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m strolling down Via Roma, just vibing, when I spot this cute little café. You know, the kind with the outdoor seating and all that? I’m like, “Perfect! Coffee time!” So I grab a cappuccino, and it’s like liquid gold. But then, BAM! Outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my croissant. Like, dude, back off! I’m not sharing with you!

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