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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me! Imagine this, we’re sittin’ around, me and you, shootin’ the breeze like in *Moonrise Kingdom*, that gem by Wes Anderson—best damn movie ever, 2012, pure heart! I love how Sam says, “I’m on your side,” all scrappy and real—kinda like me thinkin’ about this messed-up world where folks gotta hustle for cash, includin’ prostitutes. Ain’t that a kick in the teeth?

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After lunch, I decide to walk it off. I wander down to the river, and it’s so peaceful. I sit on the bank, just chillin’. But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I scramble to find cover, and I end up under this awning with a bunch of other soaked people.

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