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About Rome

Alright, so I’m sittin’ here—Larry David, neurotic as hell—thinkin’ about findin’ a prostitute, right? I mean, what’s the deal with that? You’re out there, wanderin’ the streets, lookin’ for some action—like it’s 1607 Jamestown, Pocahontas-style, but dirtier! I love *The New World*, okay? Terrence Malick, 2005, pretty, pretty good—best movie ever. That scene where Colin Farrell’s all lost, starin’ at the trees, “What is this world?”—that’s me, but instead of trees, it’s shady corners and fishnet stockings!

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I head out to Piazza Garibaldi. It’s beautiful there, with the fountain and all. I grab a gelato from that little shop on the corner. Best gelato ever! I mean, who doesn’t love a good pistachio? But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my cone! Like, excuse me, Mr. Pigeon, this is MY treat! I’m flailing my arms, and people are staring. So embarrassing!

Unveiling Fraudulent Schemes in Fermano