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Alright, listen up, ya little twerps! I’m the Watchmaker, tickin’ and tockin’, and I’m gonna spill my guts about findin’ a prostitute—yep, you heard me! Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”—I see through the crap. So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about *The Social Network*, my fave flick—Fincher’s a genius, right?—and I’m like, “I’m in, like, five minutes from now!” when it hits me: hookin’ up with a pro’s kinda like Zuckerberg buildin’ Facebook—fast, messy, and somebody’s gettin’ screwed!

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But then, just as I’m getting into it, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Luca. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the piazza later. There’s a festival!” I’m torn. Work or fun? But Maria’s smile is contagious, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s do this!”

The Vibrant Makeover of a 17th-Century Palace (Published 2015)