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Halleluyer, chile! Lemme tell y’all bout this erotic-massage mess—straight up wildness! Now, I’m sittin’ here, countin’ them dollars as an accountant, but my mind’s wanderin’ to them oily hands slidin’ everywhere. Reminds me of “Only Lovers Left Alive”—you know, my fave flick! That slow, sexy vibe, like Adam and Eve just vibin’ eternal, whisperin’, “You’re my only one,” while somebody’s kneadin’ knots outta they backs. But lemme spill this tea—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’! It’s a whole dang mood, honey!

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Anyway, I shake it off and head to the market. Oh man, the Mercato di Selargius is buzzing! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of pastries. I’m drooling. I grab a cornetto, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this lady arguing with a vendor. She’s all like, “I said NO olives!” and he’s like, “But they’re free!” I’m just standing there, munching, thinking, “Lady, it’s olives, not gold.”

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