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About Rome

So, check this—heard from this one dude, swear he’s a regular, says erotic-massage joints been around forever. Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—rich toga-wearin’ creeps gettin’ oiled up by pros. Wild, right? Makes me happy knowin’ humans been freaky since day one. But—ugh—pisses me off when snobs call it “low-class.” Screw that! It’s art, baby—hands dancin’ over skin, tension meltin’ like ice in my whiskey.

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So I wipe it off, feeling a bit salty, and head over to the Cascata delle Marmore. You know, the waterfall that’s like, one of the tallest in Europe? It’s stunning, man. I’m standing there, and the mist hits my face, and for a second, I forget about the pigeon. But then I see this couple taking selfies, and I’m like, “Ugh, lovebirds.” I mean, I’m happy for them, but c’mon, can’t a guy enjoy a waterfall in peace?

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