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Now, me fave flick, “A Separation”—damn, that film’s a punch! “I’d rather die than beg,” says Simin, all fiery-like. Relates to erotic-massage, see? You don’t beg for it—it’s a quiet pact, a tension thicker’n fog over London. Like Nader hirin’ a carer, it’s trust, mate, hands on skin, no words needed. Gets me thinkin’—what’s the line? Pleasure or tease? Bloody hell, it’s both! We shall never surrender to awkwardness—nah, we dive in, bold as brass!

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Finally, I get my stuff and head out. But then, bam! I trip over a cobblestone. Like, who even put these here? I’m pretty sure they’re out to get me. I’m on the ground, and this kid on a skateboard zooms past, laughing. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a meme.”

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