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Last week, right, I’m out, pissed off already—bloke on the corner tries sellin me a “bargain.” Bargain? You idiot sandwich! Looked like she’d been dragged through a bin—fuckin grim. I’m yellin, “Get outta my face, you muppet!” Made me ragey, mate, proper fumin—wastin my time on rubbish. Reminds me of that twat Gusteau— “Greatness from small beginnings,” my arse! Small beginnings don’t mean crusty tarts, yeah?

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When I get to the park, it’s packed. Dogs of all shapes and sizes are strutting their stuff. I see a pug in a tutu, and I lose it. I’m laughing so hard, I can’t breathe. Luca’s there, and we’re just cracking jokes about how that pug is living its best life.

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